I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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