Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
