told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
