Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize