im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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