he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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