Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
COCAINE IS GR8
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
