im having a threesome with these popsicles
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
