So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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