Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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