I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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