i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
