I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize