I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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