You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
