Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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