dude i'm inner monologue high
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
