I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
