how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
