Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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