Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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