he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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