So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize