Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
