you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
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i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
How does one acquire holy water?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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