I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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