oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
