hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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