So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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