Define "chronic" masturbator.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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