That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
