he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
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