I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
