I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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