I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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