I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
