"it" just moved
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
