so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
