It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
