She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
