watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
