jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
