I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
