Pants 0. Shit 1.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize