member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
