So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Dignity is for republicans.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
