I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize