I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
