This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
