"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
