From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize