How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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