are you still at the devil's house?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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