Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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