I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
