I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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